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I’m having a real Monty Python moment here in Toronto. I wander all over the city and see lots of signs – I tend to ignore most of them. But this one always gets to me. Take a look at it… it says “No Live Animals Allowed” and it shows a picture of a parrot on it. I see this in a variety of stores and coffee shops.
A couple of things about this sign give me the giggles:
Why is there a picture of a parrot on the sign? I don’t know about your city, but people here don’t tend to wander the streets with a parrot on their shoulder. You really don’t have to warn folks not to bring their parrots into any eating establishment – not even the pirates.
Is it necessary to say No LIVE Animals? Seriously, who is going to be dragging their dead pet about the city with them? Each time I see this sign, I have visions of John Cleese coming in with his very dead parrot demanding service. I asked the clerk at one coffee shop if it was okay to bring in my dead parrot but this went right over her head. She obviously has never seen the famous Monty Python skit.
My entire point is, it is not necessary to specify whether the animal is dead or alive. What frightens me is the logic that may have been behind this sadly written sign – it implies dead animals can be brought in. I never refer to my ham sandwich as a Dead Pig on Toast, nor do I call my meatloaf Defunct Ground Cow. We do not refer to our edible meat products as animals so it is unnecessary to specify the establishment will only allow dead animals in. It’s a given. The sign is referring to pets anyway. Who in hell is going to try to bring in dead Fluffy and Rover?
Let me give you a tip to help you through the day, if your pet has died, bury it – don’t take it to Starbucks for a latte.
So who created this little masterpiece? The city of Toronto. In case you are not aware of it, Toronto is a large metropolitan city, not farm country. The sign should read No Pets Allowed. Or, No Animals Allowed if you happen to be in an area rife with goats and chickens. And no caveats about them being dead or alive please and thank you.