I’m having a real Monty Python moment here in Toronto. I wander all over the city and see lots of signs - I tend to ignore most of them. But this one always gets to me. Take a look at it… it says “No Live Animals Allowed” and it shows a picture of a parrot on it. I see this in a variety of stores and coffee shops.
A couple of things about this sign give me the giggles:
Why is there a picture of a parrot on the sign? I don’t know about your city, but people here don’t tend to wander the streets with a parrot on their shoulder. You really don’t have to warn folks not to bring their parrots into any eating establishment - not even the pirates.
Is it necessary to say No LIVE Animals? Seriously, who is going to be dragging their dead pet about the city with them? Each time I see this sign, I have visions of John Cleese coming in with his very dead parrot demanding service. I asked the clerk at one coffee shop if it was okay to bring in my dead parrot but this went right over her head. She obviously has never seen the famous Monty Python skit.
My entire point is, it is not necessary to specify whether the animal is dead or alive. What frightens me is the logic that may have been behind this sadly written sign - it implies dead animals can be brought in. I never refer to my ham sandwich as a Dead Pig on Toast, nor do I call my meatloaf Defunct Ground Cow. We do not refer to our edible meat products as animals so it is unnecessary to specify the establishment will only allow dead animals in. It’s a given. The sign is referring to pets anyway. Who in hell is going to try to bring in dead Fluffy and Rover?
Let me give you a tip to help you through the day, if your pet has died, bury it - don’t take it to Starbucks for a latte.
So who created this little masterpiece? The city of Toronto. In case you are not aware of it, Toronto is a large metropolitan city, not farm country. The sign should read No Pets Allowed. Or, No Animals Allowed if you happen to be in an area rife with goats and chickens. And no caveats about them being dead or alive please and thank you.
Stumble it!
8 responses so far ↓
1
Roufa Tav Gosou & Mimi Lass
// Dec 4, 2007 at 10:25 am
We recommend the site of the US postal service, where you can read what you are not allowed to send to, e.g., Canada:
http://pe.usps.gov/text/Imm/ce_003.htm#ep2041503
Notice the part about :
Perishable infectious biological substances.
Perishable noninfectious biological substances. (duh?)
Plumage and skins of wild birds.
Eggs for hatching must be packed in new, clean containers and accompanied by a certificate issued by a veterinarian of the U.S. Department of Agriculture, or one issued by a State veterinarian and endorsed by a veterinarian of that Bureau, stating that to the best of his or her knowledge the eggs come from a flock that is free from Newcastle disease, fowl pest, or fowl typhoid. See 135.3 for method of packing.
Etc
What is it about birds and Canada?
Choose any country on that list and it’s a treat, guaranteed!
2
Roufa Tav Gosou & Mimi Lass
// Dec 5, 2007 at 5:21 am
Hey, our comment disappeared, by *human* error, we hope.
We were just trying to get you to visit the very funny site of the US postal service. See, eg., what you are not allowed to send to Canada from the US per post:
http://pe.usps.gov/text/Imm/ce_003.htm#ep2041503
Among others:
Perishable infectious biological substances.
Perishable noninfectious biological substances. (?)
Plumage and skins of wild birds.
Also:
“Eggs for hatching must be packed in new, clean containers and accompanied by a certificate issued by a veterinarian of the U.S. Department of Agriculture, or one issued by a State veterinarian and endorsed by a veterinarian of that Bureau, stating that to the best of his or her knowledge the eggs come from a flock that is free from Newcastle disease, fowl pest, or fowl typhoid. See 135.3 for method of packing.”
What is it with birds and Canada?
Chose any country on their list and a giggle is guaranteed.
3
catpaw
// Dec 5, 2007 at 11:36 am
See what I mean about a Monty Python moment? In a fit of madness I hit moderate this comment. It is a giggle!
Do you think Monty Python wrote the list?
4
Roufa Tav Gosou & Mimi Lass
// Dec 6, 2007 at 9:18 am
They sure must have had something to do with it. If you were a Monty Python fan and you worked for the USPS, how would YOU vent?
5
catpaw
// Dec 7, 2007 at 5:21 pm
Hee heee… i break up into giggles everytime I think about the list! I also keep having flashes of the Monty Python group sitting around the USPS office coming up with no send lists. hee hee..
6
Diamond Emerald-Eyes
// Dec 10, 2007 at 9:53 am
I live in Florida, and a lot of people have parrots that they want to take in places. You also have people that put their little dogs in their purses and take them shopping. If I was a little dog, I would pee in the purse, but then, little dogs aren’t very smart.
7
catpaw
// Dec 10, 2007 at 12:20 pm
LOL, I had never thought if the little nervous dogs peeing in purses. Wonder if they are waterproof? The yappy little things dribble at the least provocation.
So, do you have no parrot allowed signs in Florida?
8
Victor Tabbycat
// Dec 10, 2007 at 2:17 pm
My beans are Monty Python fans and got a giggle out of those signs when they bisited Toronto in, um, ‘03? You know, scientists would say those signs ban all (live) customers, too!
Mine Mom has a furiend who had an African Grey parrot who rode on the handlebars of her bike. I spose they won’t let you bring in yur pet carrier if yur on yur way to the vet an need to stop fur a latte? Strange.
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