Jawbone of an ass… More semi-coherent ramblings

Posted on | February 14, 2009 | 2 Comments

I hate the cold… I also hate head colds. I’m suffering from both and well, I’m just pathetic and miserable at the moment. To fill in time while I’m waiting for both colds to break, I’ve been scooting about the internet looking for suitable tales of terror to rant about. Oh what fertile ground the world can be!

Let’s start with my e-mail. Here’s a part of a letter I received today:

Tired of Hearing:       

: What’s Your Degree in?
: Where did you go to school?
: No Degree, No Job!
: You don’t Qualify for it!
: With a degree we could offer you a higher salary & etc …    

Now you can finally have the Degree You deserve based on your “Life Experience”
No Examination, No Books, No Study      

Prestigious Non-accreedited Degrees
“No one is Turned Down”

Hmmm…. evidently spelling isn’t a required “Life Experience”…. I really enjoyed this email. I worked pretty hard for my  BA(hons) and now … gee.. I could have saved myself the effort and just mailed away for one. No work necessary, no exams, no books, no study. This isn’t a degree folks, this is a useless piece of paper that says “I’m a useless wanker who is too lazy and dishonest to legitimately work for the honour of receiving a degree.” There was a recent newspaper article here in Toronto that exposed a number of people in Ontario who had purchased their degrees. One person even said they didn’t realise it was wrong! WHAT?!! You must be joking… seriously… you thought you could chuck a couple of bucks in the mail and get a degree that is supposed to be equal to the one I spent 4 years getting but without the work or gaining the knowledge that accompanied the effort or the integrity behind doing the work? Get out of here! It says it is NON-accredited which means it is NOT LEGITIMATE… sheesh..

Octomom is too easy a target, I think I’ll leave this pathetic excuse of a human alone. My blood just boils when I think the entire situation. What the hell was her doctor thinking.. oh wait I know – $$$ and damn the consequences. Is the entire sad tale getting creepier by the moment to you as well? When I saw a photo of this person, I thought to myself, she wants to be Angelina Jolie – and don’t get me started on that sad situation. What is it with these people that want to collect children. Whatever happened to old fashioned hobbies like stamp collecting, or coin collecting? Children are not accessories.

Our neighbourhood looks like dog sh*t Hell. Note to dog owners, snow and cold do not make dog poo vanish. It’s still there. And to the person who is letting his large dog poo in the middle of the sidewalk here at my building – I’m hunting for you. And when I find you it’s not going to be nice. And I will find you!

Soccer season here in Toronto will start soon… OH OH OH… I really can’t wait. Seriously – I just can’t wait. It means spring, good entertainment and ohhhh… I want to go to the first game.

Did you know there are 150 items available on Itunes that contain the word fart, including an astonishing number of ringtones, 7 games and 3 utilities. Did I say I have a bad head cold? What else do you do when you feel under the weather, but look up rude things on the Internet.

I’ve filled my MP3 player with the songs I like to hear! I found 33 songs I like to listen too! WHOO HOO! Now what am I going to do with the other 6.7 gigs worth of space.

Did you know there was an Idiot’s Guide to the End of Days and another one for the Apocalypse? Want to know how the books end? Everyone dies.

Sometimes you can’t help but overhear a conversation that has you in stitches. Years ago I was eavesdropping on one such conversation between 2 teens, in a restaurant. It was obvious this was the young man’s very first serious date and he was desperately trying to impress the girl. He was wearing a tie that looked like it belonged to his dad and he kept fussing with it; his jacket was a bit over sized. He was trying to do all the right things, holding out her chair, entertain her with chat, order something nice to drink etc. Their conversation was rather funny – he was telling her all about how camouflage works, except he kept pronouncing the word camelflage. Don’t know if the girl realised the slight mispronunciation, but if she did she wasn’t letting on. Whenever I get too cynical about humans, I think as long as there are young boys willing to get clean and tidy for girls and take them out and young girls who are enthralled about a conversation concerning camelflage, well then the world will be okay after all.

If you are feeling all warm and fuzzy now, I have the perfect antidote: the British government has backed down on it’s pledge to prevent the banks from dishing out HUGE bonuses to their inept, corrupt and incompetent staff that helped create this huge economic fiasco. They will continue to be rewarded for malfeasance and incompetence. I thought bonuses were given for performing your job well, not flushing the economy down the well. Silly me. But hey, on the upside, at least we know who’s purchasing all those Internet degrees.

Speaking of the economy, nice to know all those de rigour business ethics classes were so effective.

On that happy note, my head cold and I are going back to bed.

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Category: Catpaw's Mad, Corporate Greed, Gods of sarcasm, Illiterate, Justice, Obnoxious People, Rants, Utter Stupidity, Whines
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Comments

2 Responses to “Jawbone of an ass… More semi-coherent ramblings”

  1. Roufa Tav Gosou & Mimi Lass
    February 17th, 2009 @ 10:43 am

    Oooh, loved the story about the boy and the girl!

  2. catpaw
    March 16th, 2009 @ 4:04 pm

    I always get a smile when I think of camelflouge boy and his date. Glad you enjoyed it as much as I do.