Catpaw – diary of an angry cat

I ask myself that question periodically. Just how has the human species survived? Intelligence is not a requirement for being a human. Consider the following:

Would you eat an iguana? No seriously, would you catch an iguana, roast it, serve it to your friends (keep in mind it’s a protected species in the Bahamas where this took place and therefore AGAINST THE LAW TO KILL) and then post the photos for the world to see on your Facebook page? The world means law enforcement agencies who now have their knickers in a twist over the incident. Yes, a couple from the US are in trouble for doing this. Vanessa Starr Palm, 23, of Illinois and Alexander Daniel Rust, 24, of Indiana were arrested this month for their impressive lack of compassion to little critters and inability to hide their crime. Gotta love Facebook!

February has been a bumper month for bizarre behaviour. The same week that saw our loveable pair of iguana nibblers arrested, saw a man nabbed for stuffing pigeons in his pants so he could smuggle them into Australia. The 23 year old had tucked padded envelopes around the poor pigeons and slipped on a pair of tights to keep them in place in a pathetic attempt at pigeon smuggling. Now a couple of thoughts come to mind. First why, oh, why smuggle pigeons? We call them winged rats around here. Pesky dirty things. Second, what sane man would put any creature with a sharp beak in his pants? Is this a case of a pending Darwin award in action? How did he keep them quiet during the long flight from Dubai to Australia?

Remember the notorious video of a young man teasing a salt water croc that made the rounds about a year ago? The 27 year old tourist was teasing a 16 foot salt water croc (a species not known for their genial disposition) because he thought it would look better on film. The croc rocketed towards the man and launched itself at him, narrowly missing out on getting a man-kabob for lunch. The tourist was later quoted as saying ” I didn’t realise that crocs were so aggressive”.  What? He thought crocodiles were cute and cuddly? Hint to humans, before teasing the wildlife, make sure your life insurance is fully paid up. I wonder what he’s doing this year? Poking a tiger in the eye and wondering why it bit his arm off?

My current favourite story doesn’t really deal with stupid human antics, but a rather riled squirrel. Don’t mess with those little guys, even if you are 6ft 4inch former army sergeant who survived a tour in Iraq and a closecall with a roadside bomb. Former sergeant Frank Garren took on an irrate squirrel during a walk in a park last fall and lost the battle. Evidently Garren was doing some squirrel calls in an attempt to impress his girlfriend and inadvertently insulted the squirrel’s parentage. Next think he knew, he was wrestling with about 2 pounds of squirrel fury as the little beast launched itself at his head. No one told him he needed his combat helmet for a walk in the nearby park. Neither the squirrel nor Mr Garren were seriously hurt, but the squirrel must still be making the rounds in the pubs telling his brave story. Garren is quoted as saying: “I never thought a squirrel could kick my (behind).” That’ll teach the Army!

Stumble it!