Catpaw – diary of an angry cat

I’ve been having so much fun with the UK political scandals that I put my observations on a host of other stunningly silly moments on the back burner. Time to trot them out.

I don’t watch beauty pageants or fashion shows – I can hear you all saying “REALLY?” But the yes, the truth is, I don’t watch them. I have a low nausea threshold and the thought of watching these cattle calls pushes me over the edge.

HOWEVER… the Miss California (of the Miss USA Pageant) was a god send. If you don’t read the same scurrilous rags I do, you may not be aware that she was under fire for her comments on gay marriage. She came out and said she doesn’t think they should happen. Okay, fine. That’s her opinion. I can ignore that. But she just couldn’t leave it at that. She had to firmly put her foot into it with the following statement on who shw thought was behind the question:

mmmn    Honestly, I felt as though Satan was — and I don’t want to say that this person represented Satan, but — I felt as though Satan was trying to tempt me in asking me this question. And then God was in my head and in my heart saying, ‘Carrie, do not compromise this. You need to stand up for me. You need to share with all these people. If there were 95 percent of the people in the audience that were gay, you need to witness to them, and you need to show that you’re not willing to compromise that for this title of Miss USA.

There you have it folks. Further proof  God has nothing better to do in the world than meddle in Beauty Queen contests. War, genocide, famine, drought – not as important as making sure a contestant in the Miss USA pageant stays on the path of  right wing nonsense.

I’m curious as to why so many people thing God has nothing better to do than make sure they win football games, beauty pageants and such. What this says to me is the losing side must be in league with Satan, I mean after all why didn’t God help them win? Seriously, when you are cooling your heels at the bus stop or stuck in traffic, mull this over in your mind. I’m sure you will have a Road to Damascus moment over this stunning revelation. Then again maybe not….

Dear Burger King,

I’ve written before about your ill advised advertisements and the lack of judgement shown by both those  who create your ad campaigns and by those who approve them.  Your company shows an appalling insensitivity and astounding lack of common sense. Your latest ad, showing a Hindu Goddess floating atop a hamburger simply re-inforces my opinion that there is serious rot at the top of the food chain within your company.

Now I’m not Hindu – matter of fact I’m an unrepentant agnostic with touches of atheism at the fringes – but even I found your last ad, from Spain, breath-taking in it’s stupidity. Do you wonder why your market share has dropped? As a global chain, you should be aware of how your ads will play. Granted, the Hindu population is not your target market, but that does not allow you to be offensive, insensitive and down right idiotic in your behaviour. To paraphrase a line I used in a previous, unrelated post “Is it too much to ask for a modicum of common sense?”

By hijacking a symbol from another culture and faith, Lakshmi, the Indian goddess of wealth, and slapping her over top your Texas Whopper, you display the worst elements of  Insensitive Westerner. You further aggravated the problem by later offering up this  lame-ass apology “We are apologising because it wasn’t our intent to offend anyone. Burger King Corporation values and respects all of its guests as well as the communities we serve. This in-store advertisement was running to support only local promotion for three restaurants in Spain and was not intended to offend anyone.” It is obvious, even to the casual observer that Burger King has nothing but contempt for the public at large or it wouldn’t keep dishing out it’s noxious, “cutting edge” ads. It wasn’t your intent to offend anyone? You value and respect all of its guests? Wow, did it not occur to anyone that the misuse of a sacred symbol from a culture that DOES NOT ALLOW THE CONSUMPTION OF BEEF to flog coronary busting burgers might, just might, offend someone?

This apology doesn’t cut it. It’s simply a case of “If we get caught, then we’ll simper and apologise”. Let’s see, this year, sex charged and degrading ads aimed at children, insulting Mexico to sell the whopper and now this? All in less than a year? How many times do you have to apologise for these blunders before you realise your ads are not edgy, they are just stupid and offensive. I for one am sick and tired of your sad, bad and pathetic ads.

catpaw

Boycott Burger King until they grow up.

Is it too much to ask for a modicum of literacy in a bookstore?

The sign has been in place for months now and no one has corrected the sign yet. Sigh…. and the store sells books on American history for pete’s sake!

Some people really are too stupid to live and they are doing their best to prove this. There are rumours swirling about that have led health officials to say having a swine flu party is not really a good idea. I might be tempted to say it’s one of the more asinine ideas a human might get. Today health officials here in Canada and the UK are trying to discourage swine flu parties. What’s that you ask? Oh just the brilliant idea of holding a party for all your friends and inviting someone who has an active case of the flu to attend. That way you all get some sort of immunity. UK officials are worried because a number of parents believe this would be a great idea for their children.

Let’s see – let’s deliberately infect ourselves with swine flu so we don’t get swine flu. Yea, great idea. While I’m at it, I’ll go bungee jumping without a rope and if I survive, I’ll go stand in the middle of a busy road.

I seriously don’t know how this species has survived for so long.

The home of the English language is in dire need of a lesson on how to use it. Well, to be honest, the Police Chiefs (Association of Chief Police Officers (ACPO) need a remedial course on how to write coherently. Read this from their response to a proposed reform initiative:

The promise of reform which the Green Paper heralds holds much for the public and Service alike; local policing, customised to local need with authentic answerability, strengthened accountabilities at force level through reforms to police authorities and HMIC, performance management at the service of localities with targets and plans tailored to local needs, the end of centrally-engineered one size fits all initiatives, an intelligent approach to cutting red tape through redesign of processes and cultures, a renewed emphasis on strategic development so as to better equip our service to meet the amorphous challenges of managing cross force harms, risks and opportunities.

If you read the sentence – and it is indeed ONE sentence – you kind of get the general idea of what they are saying… kind of. Maybe…

I think the ACPO have gotten all hot ‘n bothered about possible reform of the the current red tape heavy policing system. I think… But I’m still pondering “amorphous challenges of managing cross force harms, risks and opportunities”. Do you think they mean “develop flexible strategies to deal with the complexities of modern policing”?

My head hurts now. I have a literacy headache. Or is that a mangled grammar migraine? I’m going to go and have a coffee… and not think about that sentence any longer.