More caffiene driven ramblings

Posted on | October 21, 2009 | 1 Comment

You know… the picture I posted yesterday? The one of Vampirella on the Beach? It scares the sh*t out of me. Every time I logged on today and it popped up, I jumped. Holy Crap Batman, what were they thinking to create such a truly horrible picture? And who were they kidding – sex on the beach? Nah uh… this creature is more apt to eat her mate after a romp in the hay. I can’t get the image out of my head now – it burns!! Please make the horrible picture go away.

As an antidote, I present another edition of Catpaw’s You Ask the Question and I Supply the Smart Ass Answer. For those that are unfamiliar with this, let me explain. I pilfer the questions from another site – WikiAnswers. I then supply an answer I would dearly love to leave but can’t because I’d get my hands slapped and then be bounced off the site. The Wiki folks are funny that way. But some of the questions just BEG for a stupid answer. Some questions are quite innocent, but leave themselves open to interpretation and others are so illiterate, well…it feels like shooting fish in a barrel. This is where I get to abuse the exclamation mark shamelessly.

Let the games begin:

Is new york a blue state?
Yes…yes it is. The prozac dumped into the water supply should help.

In Lord of the Flies chapter 1 what was all over Ralph’s face?
Stop being so bloody lazy and open up the book. This is in the FIRST chapter for god’s sake. I’ll accept laziness once you read up to the 6th chapter, but no sooner!

What is a physical change when burning a log?
Puberty??? ???This is when I also get to abuse question marks ???

What year was the friction invented?
This question is fun on so many levels. I especially like the use of THE friction. I can’t figure out whether this is a science question or a literature question. Do they mean when was theory of friction formulated or what year was fiction as a literary device created?

Who was it that born before his father and died before his mother?
Bwahahahahahahaha…..

How many stages does a water boatman go through as a nymph?
This is a legitimate question, and a good one… unless part of your degree is in English Lit and you don’t read the question correctly. I immediately flashed onto Greek mythology and tales of water nymphs and then proceeded to have a serious break with reality.

Can you still inject expired flu vaccine?
Yes you can. I think the question should be Is it wise to inject expired flu vaccine?

Do aliens have ray guns?
Why yes we do! Would you like a demonstration?

What is an eye brown?
I haven’t the faintest idea on how to answer this.

Who was in the french revolution war?
I’ll hazard a guess and say … oh … um …. the French? (Found in the category American Revolution)

How many cubits high did the water rise?
Can we have the rest of the question?

(This was found in the How to Spell category)
What does Drinking Kocane and PCP do to you?
Well for starters it kills your brain’s ability to differentiate between categories. It also destroys the specific area in the brain that helps you spell.

How much fish in ocean?
Lemme grab a pencil and paper and get back to you. 1 fish, 2 fish, red fish, blue fish…. damn … that fish has 6 colours …. 6 fish oh wait… hang on …. damn…. 1 fish, 2 fish…

Shakespeare’s day for trick or treating?
Now I’m curious… did little Willy Shakespeare go trick or treating? If he did what was his favourite costume?

What is the first thing you need to by so you can be ready to germinate?
Hee hee… I think you left something out of this question … hee hee… no … really… you did….

What does blue diamond tattoo symbolize?
You are really, really crazy about a certain brand of almonds.

Does a ladybug have a tongue?
Crap! Now you have me wondering! Thanks a lot. As if I didn’t already have an obsessive enough personality…

Is Bolivia north south east or west?
Of what? A little help here.

What is the mayor’s last name?
Smith? Jones? Zwicker? Pick one, I’m sure it will work.

What animal only lives in Pennslyvania?
The rare and hard to spot Pennsylvania groundhog. It lives in burrows and dens along the great, heather covered dunes along the coastline. It is easily identified by it’s spotted striped coat of many colours. (You just know some kid would cut and paste this into their homework and hand it in. Don’t you wish you could see the look on the teacher’s face?)

Write 100 as the sum of two prime numbers in six different ways?
Cheater, cheater, cheater!

There shold be no school uniforms
Is there a question in there?

There that should hold you for awhile…

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Category: Cleaning up the Litterbox, Curiosities, Fashion industry, Gods of sarcasm, Illiterate, Silly Moments
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Comments

One Response to “More caffiene driven ramblings”

  1. Bimmy the Bookish
    October 22nd, 2009 @ 2:56 pm

    Oh, we laughed! We laughed until the tears ran down our trouser legs….
    It reminds me a lot of a day in the life of our school :)