Here’s winner (or is that whiner) number one:

Hi. I like your website but i can tell it probably isn’t getting much traffic? If you want to help imrpove that check this website out, he has a short video that i really suggest you watch. [insert shill address here] P.S this isn’t my website and i’m not spamming your blog, i don’t care if you delete this comment. I am only trying to help you improve your site.

Ummm yes you are spamming my blog. I have 5 separate entries for this product under 5 separate names. This is spam. Go away.

Although perplexing to feel, I contend in Seasoned MIni Golf tournaments here the rural area and was wondering what type of ball would act best on the unripened (min golf course lol). I feel to like balls with a deign compression (really weird shill ad here) even so after reading up on the plan of golf balls, I am not trustworthy that this is the spot on decision. What kind of balls (compression, three piece two portion etc.) would better widen my performance.

I have to admit, I didn’t see mini golf spam coming. But I do appreciate you admitting you “are not trustworthy”. Now go away.

I’m planning to visit Amsterdam, Netherlands next week. I would like to know whether the *** Hotel (located between Leidseplein and Vondelpark) or the *** Hotel (located between Central Station and Dam Square) would be more convenient given the winter weather.

and

Which hotel location is better for tourist to see the major attractions in the wintertime? Any other travel tips for exploring Amsterdam in December? Thank you.

I have no clue. Why don’t you consult the link you tried to leave all over my blog.

The author is really cool. But some of the commentators are just posting stupid words.

I’d take you seriously and be flattered, but since you link back to a Viagra site, I’ll take your compliment with a grain of salt so go away.

This is a message to the website owner. Please check out my friends website, he is offering a very good service that you may be intrested in. Does your website not get hardly any visitors or not rank for keywords with Google? Well he can help! He can provide you with tens of thousands of backlinks to your site! Take a quick look as im sure you will be intrested.

Wait…Didn’t you post this identical link under 3 different names already? I recognise the typos. Now here is a link for you. Try it, you might learn something.

Will the north star (polaris) always be the north star?

That was so utterly random.

Hello everyone
First of all sorry that I write in this topic but I have some technical problem with the use of this forum. When I’m trying to enter in the appropriate topic, I received a 404 error It’s about the only topic in which I was able to enter. Do you have the same problems? What’s going on?

No, the problem is your attempt at stealth spamming. You don’t create any topic, you simply comment. So stop trying to register, it won’t work and go away.

I just purchased a ***** (2.0 engine), and want to give it a tune up. I finally found a [spam ad inserted here] air filter; now it’s time for spark plugs. What are the best spark plugs for ***? I heard [Ohhh more spam ads here] aren’t the best. Why? Thank you

Why yes, this blog is all about cars….

I be suffering with a 1992 Infiniti M30 convertible with 46,000 miles on it. I am upsetting to interpret and explicate a vibration hornet’s nest I comprise that comes and goes. I experience it from as a vibration throughout the steering turn at diverse speeds, it feels more like a drain that is non compos mentis, scalped or with a miserable belt. Sometimes it is more intense than others, and off I don’t believe it at all, evaluation it has gone away, and then a few miles later it reappears. It is not fervent adequacy to do the machine unsafe or undriveable, it is honest annoying as hell. The car is in save condition and has trade-mark new radial tires that are in unmitigated balance. The buggy does not pluck pluck out leftist or uprightness right side on a unbending passage, (my bolding, not the spammers) so I don’t think it is a air limit alignment event; I am philosophy it could be base ball joints or some other cover aim problem, but don’t be aware for the treatment of sure. Thanks quest of any plagiarize you may offer.

I only included this one because of the divine madness of it. “The buggy does not pluck pluck out leftist or uprightness right side” will now be my new answer to anything posted that makes no sense.

Where else can I get some of the best stuff I’ve seen in a long time. I wanna see emo porn

Don’t know, don’t want to know.. go away

In this demonstration I will show you how simple it is to create a sql database, then a table and also use the insert statement to insert data into your table

Still waiting … next time please leave a link back so I can both see what you are referring to and ridicule you properly.

You need to take a lesson from my Canadian-born father and start rooting for the country of your citizenship: America. Few things are more annoying than someone who becomes a citizen on paper, but not with their heart.

This is just … well .. stupid. Stupid and arrogant. Stupid, arrogant and obnoxious. I put this into the spam section because it was posted on a non political entry. Oh wait.. I know.. we are supposed to blindly agree with our fearless leaders no matter what? My country right or wrong? Love it or leave it? Everyone is supposed to march to the same political tune? Don’t waste my time and go pluck pluck out leftist or uprightness right side.

That was cathartic. I wonder what wonders will be dropped in the comments section this month.

And now the last post – THE END

“This website article shows how well you comprehend and know this subject.”
What subject? You mean the article I wrote about general stupidity? Well that’s where you left your comment. I’m not sure if he was saying I’m an expert in stupidity or I’m stupid. Double edged sword! Oh Gods of Irony, thank you for serving that one up on a platter.

But the spammer who is near and dear to my heart is the one who turbo spams his idea about making a fortune by spamming mobile phones:

“Hey all, i want to share with you a brand new method to making money online that is HUGE and very easy to make money. It’s [insert most recent con job here]. There are more than 5 billion mobile phones in the world and just over 1.8 billion people use the internet [cool, an endless supply of humans to really annoy]. This website give you great details information on how you can get into [pissing off your potential customers, and while I'm ranting, is it so difficult to construct a coherent sentence?] and get a slice of your share. I personally made just over $1100 with this system just YESTERDAY! and on average make $500-$1200 per day [heh heh heh yea.. right]. It’s very easy and anyone can do it [well this is obvious, any monkey with a keyboard can spam]. Take a quick look at their video for more info, some really good stuff guys.”

I have a one word response to this: bullshit. Or is that two words bull shit… no no.. it’s definitely one word – bullshit. Yes, you to can turn a budding business into a pariah in a couple easy lessons. Send me $2 via Paypal and I’ll send you instructions on how to do this. Also note, it’s generally a good idea to have a fairly decent looking website and one that doesn’t vanish and pop up on a new server every week. It must be hard wearing out your welcome so quickly and getting the boot from your server.

I’m very disappointed though. So far Mr Crabby Pants Spammer, who left me the snotty message about 2 weeks ago, hasn’t been back. Do you think I hurt his feelings? I can but hope.

Put a couple of my entries in and voila:

I write like
Cory Doctorow

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

I’m rather flattered.. don’t know if Doctorow would be, but I am….

Party Rats

What? You haven’t heard of Party Rats! You’re kidding, right? They’re the best thing to happen to partying since the mirror ball. People of all ages are putting these colorful, plastic, rodent lights on their fingers and waving their hands in the air like they just don’t care. Each 1-3/4″ long rat sends out a different colored beam of light, allowing you to create your own personal light show! Also great for the latest computer craze, night blogging! Five rats in each package. Batteries included.

Best thing since the mirror ball? Well ALL RIGHT! I can’t imagine a party without my tacky, outdated mirror ball.  Just think how cool I’m going to look with little multicoloured plastic rat lights on my fingers. My friends are going to be soooo envious.  And just think, I can type on my blog at night now that I have rats on my fingers!

Might I suggest, if you are having trouble typing at night you try this inovative idea: turn on a light.

The worse of my design excesses will be hidden away from view so don’t worry. I won’t slap up one of those aweful “Under construction” signs and disappear for weeks while I labour over the site.