And now the last post – THE END

What is one school that Mary 1 Queen of England attended?
She didn’t attend schools. She was taught by monks. Most of her early life was spent in exile away from court because she was considered the illegitimate daughter of Ann Boleyn. Even if she had been at court she wouldn’t have gone to a school as we know it. Women and girls were not allowed in schools and often it was only noble boys who gained education.

Yup… trolling for trouble at my favourite playground. This was posted by a supervisor who was a teacher, PhD and a brain that is “a data bank of facts and they just seem to stick in my brain especially in history and arts.” I think some of it came unstuck on this one. Can we spot the errors? Other than the obvious one about Ann Boleyn? Mary was an educated woman who’s first tutor was Thomas Linacre, humanist, scholar and well certainly not a monk.

Ohh a double header for you:
What were the symptoms of the plague in 1665?
There was no plague in 1665
In the Middle Ages universities formed to do what?
The educational system in the middle ages didn’t exist and there weren’t universities. 90% of the population couldn’t read or write and the nobility that could read were tutored by monks as children
Seriously, what history did this person study? Mars? Pluto? Certainly not earth history.

What was Christianity in the Middle Ages like?
Everyone was Catholic.
That takes care of those pesky Orthodox Churches and heretics. Just pretend they never existed.

The life of a bottler in medieval times?
There wasn’t a person who was a “bottler” in the middle ages. The ability to bottle, store and keep items in bottles will come much later in history.
38 seconds worth of searching popped up 3 excellent descriptions of a bottler.

Why did towns begin to grow around ad1000?
People began to learn how to plant crops and when that happens the following of animals is no longer needed so they build a house of some sort and stay. Pretty soon another groups come along and they stay too. Soon there are several houses and crops. When this happens people make rules for living together and begin to create a soceity.
Thousands of years of human growth struck off with a wave of the keyboard. Good answer, wrong question.

What floor did servants live on in a castle? (listed under Henry VIII and Middle Ages)
There wasn’t servants in a castle. The needs of the Queen or King were met by the use of young nobles who took care of them and their wardrobes. This was considered to be an honor and they wanted to be there. The young people were looking for a husband and wife among the nobles that were there so they could gain power or land for their family.
Somehow I can’t quite picture a young noble working in the kitchen washing up and turning the spit. Are you getting a delightful image of shenanigans in the pantry.

What was a Porter’s job in medieval times?
There were no porters in the middle ages.
What an baffling vision of life in the Middle Ages. I can’t quite figure this out. Once again, 38 seconds found a list of Medieval jobs, including “The janitor, or porter, was responsible for the main castle entrance and for the guardrooms. The porter also insured that no one entered or left the castle without permission”.

What were the main themes in literature during the middle ages?
Any thing written was religious…
I don’t think the Wife of Bath is an homage to God.

Was there missionaries in the middle ages?
No. Everyone was Catholic in Europe and people didn’t travel outside Europe until the late 1400′s so there were no missionaries needed.
Wtf? Everyone was Catholic? Moors in Spain, Jews, Cathars, Orthodox, Marco Polo, Silk Road …

I go on about this because I get stressed over the blatant disregard for the facts. It is so easy to look up reliable sources. If in doubt, look it up. But therein lies the problem – you have to have the confidence to say “let’s take it moment to double check”. This doesn’t happen. Don’t muddle my mind with facts, I have a mission to spread my personal view of history to the world. A completely wrong and slightly bizarre view, but hey… it’s a free country.

History, it’s dangerous. Don’t cruise the Internet alone.

What is the culture of Canada?
Intriqued, I clicked on the link. Here’s the answer: Canadian people mostly eat foods from other places around the world. They mostly eat British foods for their health in Canada.
Oookkkaayy… do you want to correct this or should we just move along and ignore the obvious problems with the answer?

Once I start, it’s like I’m infected with a weird virus. I can’t stop looking and sighing.

Who is the prime minister for Ontario?
The prime minister of Ontario since 2010 is Dalton McGuinty
(For non-Canadians, the term is Premier. Prime Minister is the head of the entire country. Provinces are led by Premiers. Dalton McGuinty was elected October 23, 2003)

What is cranberry capital Ontario canada?
The capitol of Ontario is Toronto.
Erp.. right answer, wrong question. Toronto is the capital of Ontario, but the only cranberries you’ll find are in the grocery stores and on the dinner table. For the record, the answer is Bala, Ontario.

Where did italy settled in Canada?
I read this question to my mum and she just whimpered “Oh god”. I’m hoping the person meant Where did Italians settle in Canada? But you never know.

Why are all Canadians Canadian?
I’m tempted to type in – Because we aren’t Mongolian?

What is the capital of Montreal?
Questions like this make me glad I don’t teach. Oh the answer was correct by the way: Montreal is a city in Quebec. It does not have a capital.

The answer to this question just makes me cry:
How did democracy come to canada?
Democracy came to canada by means of the Domino Theory. The Domino Theory is a theory implemented by Franklin D. Roosevelt which stated that if one country has a type of government, the neighboring countries will change to that government. The U.S had a republic type of government, and Canada watched as the U.S became the world’s superpower.
That has to be the most seriously f*cked up answer I’ve ever read. What makes me cry is the idea some kid cut and pasted this into their homework and believing Canada became a democracy only through US interference. Like I said, I’m glad I don’t teach. It must be crushing to be a teacher sometimes.

Here are a couple of questioners who need geography lessons:
Where does the Mississippi River begin in Canada before it enters the Gulf of Mexico?
What would cause a civil war between Canada and America?
Who has the longest border with the US mexico canada or alaska?
You know, I never knew Alaska was a country. Now that I’ve begun to think about it, Alaska doesn’t even border the US. That pesky country Canada gets in the way. Maybe that will cause the civil war.. no wait Canada and the US are not the same country. Damn there goes the civil war.

Does british columbia use cars?
Some smartass Canadian answered with this: No we use snowmobiles and atvs.

Do giraffes live?
What the answer should be? Nope.. strictly a figment of our imaginations.

This came from another q&a site:
Borde crossing headache?
Is there any other way to go the us beside crossing the borders, i hate the headache, it’s like they looking for Obama in your car, i hate air plan, train is wost, that’s why i drive but its an headache
Do you ever wonder what happened to punctuation? Spelling as well… and coherence … and well clear thinking?

What are some bad points about birds?
Ok make sure it has plenty of water and food. Check both everyday.
Always make sure the bird speaks clearly in bird language of course. (LOL)
If you dont want is flying clip its wings about every 3 to 4 months no often otherwise it will get misable.
Make sure the bird has a wood stick going from one end of the cage to the other.
Do you think we are missing something? Seriously, am I reading this correctly or did some wires get crossed with this question?

Why is a vampire like a sugar glider?
I had to look at this question twice before I figured out I wasn’t reading it quite the way the asker intended. I watch way too many cheesy monster movies and thought the person was comparing vampires to … well never mind. I’m embarrassed now. Let’s just say I’m going to lay off the Dracula movies for awhile.

I think I’ll stop now. I think I’ve given myself a bit of a headache.

“Ground Zero Mosque supporters: doesn’t it stab you in the heart, as it does ours throughout the heartland? Peaceful Muslims, pls refudiate.”

You have to admire her mental gymnastics. She’s almost as much fun as ole GW was when it comes to verbal crimes.

Sarah Palin – wordsmith extraordinaire.

Put a couple of my entries in and voila:

I write like
Cory Doctorow

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

I’m rather flattered.. don’t know if Doctorow would be, but I am….