Old Navy was advertising t-shirts supporting various sports teams. There was one little problem though…. someone didn’t check the spelling. They were selling t-shirts proclaiming “Lets Go [insert team here]”. Now, you and I know it should be “Let’s Go” but the average spell checker can’t differentiate between lets and let’s. That’s where the human brain is supposed to kick in and decide which is grammatically correct.

I often hear people moan and complain “who cares” about spelling and grammar. Well… in this case the company cares because they have to foot the bill for the web site correction and are stuck with useless t-shirts that had to be pulled from sale because someone thought “who cares”.

Small error = $$$ lost. Understand now?

Every once in awhile, I stumble across an article by the Simplified Spelling people. The society believes phonetic spelling should rule the day and traditional spelling has created a legion of illiterates. A couple of problems arise with this – first and foremost, they don’t examine the underlying causes of illiteracy. Poverty and lack of adequate resources are the first areas that should be looked, along with how students are taught.

The second problem is a more practical one. Their policies would create an illiterate society. This snippet comes from one of their pamphlets:

“Dhe aer ov reverens, aulmoest amounting to sanktity, widh which meny invest our speling iz an evident obstakl in dhe paath ov reform.”

When I saw it, I wondered what language is it? Then it dawned on me, it was phonetically spelled out and as such, is unreadable to anyone who doesn’t share that particular regional accent. To be honest, I made it to the second sentence and then gave up. It took too much effort to decode.

Simplified spelling becomes shaky when you look at the mess in the above paragraph. Think of the complications it would bring to the world. Phonetic spelling doesn’t take into account regional accents and pronunciation oddities. The cost of working internationally would increase, as would accidents. There is a reason for standardized spelling – to cut down on miscommunication. Regardless of where you live, you can read this blog. We can read the words because of general rules that breaks down barriers.

This also has repercussions for the blogging world – I don’t relish the idea of having to hire a translator to read someone’s blog. It takes longer to read a phonetic paragraph than a standardized one because your brain doesn’t have to decipher the individual words.

Take this for example:

“Ar we riting the old spellings – & being considderd stupid wen we don’t – to liv up to an ideal of sum kind?”

It’s much more straightforward than the previous example, but how many stumbled because you spent too much time trying to figure out what words meant. Think of an entire blog like this? Or worse, a manual on how to safely use a new piece of equipment. Most of us wouldn’t even bother trying. I can’t even imagine reading a text book or novel written with simplified spelling. It would be a nightmare.

Instead of complaining about spelling conventions, the Standardized Spelling Society should use their energy exploring ways to help people who have difficulties learning, not make it impossible for all of us to communicate.

I have to admit, this was a good one. The letter about your Japanese relief foundation was quite well done. No seriously, this is a compliment! It looked good, had the right tone, seemed sincere, and the charity number was a nice touch. The plea from the nuns was heart rending – a real show stopper!

HOWEVER….

… it’s earthquake not quark.

Hugs ‘n contempt

Catpaw

Is it too much to ask that you put a bit of effort into your attempts at parting me from my hard earned money? The quality of spam has declined dramatically lately. This sad email was far too easy to spot. I didn’t even need to use my bifocals to spot the glaring errors in this message. Coherence is so important if you are to embark upon a career of cheating and thieving so come on… humour me and put a bit of effort into your criminal endeavors…stop being such pathetic, cheap wankers and buy a dictionary.

Dear customer!
The parcel was send your home address.
And it will arrice within 7 bussness day.
More information and the tracking number
are attached in document below.
Thank you.
2011 DHL International GmbH. All rights reserverd.

Very pensive piece of info. I not in a million years thot dat t’was this right bold after all. I had disgorge a good amount of my sooner looking because someone to illustrate dis subject-matter apparently

and this:

hold responsible you over the extent of a unreservedly intriguing skim, i am bright you transfer do a ensure up write-up considering i can conditions learn plenty on this crush matter

Anyone have a clue as to what they are trying to tell me? Anyone? I’m sure the spammer is trying to send me a super important message… for a product I absolutely cannot live without.. I mean, a person can never have too many penis extenders or black market vicodins right?