The Tweets from those who ardently believe the end of times is upon us would be high comedy, if it weren’t so damned tragic. These people believe they are going to heaven in a month. I think there are going to be a lot of pissed off folks on May 22nd. Then again, they’ll believe their snake oil preachers who say “oops sorry… we misread the scriptures” and reset the date. Many of us who will most definitely be waking up in our own beds on June 1 wonder if we should stock up on marshmallows when the fires of Hell rain down upon us. Nothing better than a good old fashioned marshmallow roast to keep up the spirits.

In the meantime….

I’d like to draw your attention to the nifty little Pay Pal donation window in the right hand column. If you are one of the “believers”, feel free to leave me all your worldly wealth with one quick little click of your mouse. All credit cards accepted. Cash is welcome. I’d be happy to spend your money when you leave for the afterlife. Just remember, no refunds in the event reality really does suck.

And now the last post – THE END

I’ve been pondering what the new faith will be called. I’m thinking of Church of the Holy Vespa. Rather a nice ring to it, eh? With each donation you will get a photo of a Vespa, with a baddly scribbled drawing of a cat riding it. If you are the first 100 faithful, then I’ll bestow upon you the title of “Vespa Supplicant”, which allows you the privilege of purchasing your own robes, in tasteful red or green, and wander the land begging for more alms for the Holy Vespa. My scooter will be our holy grail of sorts.

What do you think? … hmmm wonder if i can tax exempt status for this.

I don’t watch beauty pageants or fashion shows – I can hear you all saying “REALLY?” But the yes, the truth is, I don’t watch them. I have a low nausea threshold and the thought of watching these cattle calls pushes me over the edge.

HOWEVER… the Miss California (of the Miss USA Pageant) was a god send. If you don’t read the same scurrilous rags I do, you may not be aware that she was under fire for her comments on gay marriage. She came out and said she doesn’t think they should happen. Okay, fine. That’s her opinion. I can ignore that. But she just couldn’t leave it at that. She had to firmly put her foot into it with the following statement on who shw thought was behind the question:

mmmn    Honestly, I felt as though Satan was — and I don’t want to say that this person represented Satan, but — I felt as though Satan was trying to tempt me in asking me this question. And then God was in my head and in my heart saying, ‘Carrie, do not compromise this. You need to stand up for me. You need to share with all these people. If there were 95 percent of the people in the audience that were gay, you need to witness to them, and you need to show that you’re not willing to compromise that for this title of Miss USA.

There you have it folks. Further proof  God has nothing better to do in the world than meddle in Beauty Queen contests. War, genocide, famine, drought – not as important as making sure a contestant in the Miss USA pageant stays on the path of  right wing nonsense.

I’m curious as to why so many people thing God has nothing better to do than make sure they win football games, beauty pageants and such. What this says to me is the losing side must be in league with Satan, I mean after all why didn’t God help them win? Seriously, when you are cooling your heels at the bus stop or stuck in traffic, mull this over in your mind. I’m sure you will have a Road to Damascus moment over this stunning revelation. Then again maybe not….

see more Fail Blog

That happened about 2 weeks ago as I trundled by this spot yet again. It was at that moment the store name finally registered somewhere in my mind. I walked about 1/2 a block and I stopped. What was wrong with that sign? I backed up and looked, but nothing registered so I started back towards the subway.

Again I got a little way up the street and that nagging little part of my mind that says something isn’t quite right surfaced again. I had to back up and look again. Then it hit me. Oh proof reading – such an undervalued skill. At least I get a good giggle everytime I go by it now.

Oh for a good proof reader