I never realised Doug Ford didn’t think women drove. No, seriously. I laboured under the delusion Doug and his brother Mayor Rob were mayors of all citizens of the sprawling mess we lovingly call the GTA, not just the men in their little enclave in the suburbs. It’s difficult to separate the muddled meanderings of the two, and it’s painfully obvious Doug is Mayor part two. I knew from the start neither of them didn’t believe the vast majority of Torontonians were worth a lick of salt, we being dangerous, lefty, elite pinkos and all, but never in my wildest ponderings did I think the Fords were so sexist as to think only men drove cars in this city.

Why else would Doug Ford suggest Hooter’s Tow Truck service? Yes, I know (or hope) he was attempting to be funny, but suggesting a Hooters sponsored tow truck to help with a flat tire, smacks of a juvenile wet dream. Let’s have a woman dressed in short shorts and tank tops pop around with the tow truck driver to serve up an order of wings – nothing like a stereo type to boost the male ego! Or is Mayor Doug expecting the Hooters woman to change the man’s flat tire too? Don’t hand me any crap about “It’ll just be the wings, not the girl” either. If he meant fast food, then why did he specify Hooters – the symbol of corporate objectification of women, rather than an order of wings and fries.

Better yet Doug, will we get Hooters Boys? Can we specify which type of sexism we would like to patronize? Bad enough he and his brother are acting as shills for the corporate world and attempting to gut any program they personally don’t use, now we have to endure inane musings like Hooters service for a flat tire. Nothing like city hall sanctioned sexism to enhance Toronto’s reputation.

Here’s a news flash Mayor Tweedledee, women drive. We also vote.

For those of you who don’t follow certain seedier elements of society, Duke is the former head of the Klu Klux Klan, a white power, anti-Semitic nonsense spewer who coincidently is also a convicted criminal. He’s already made 5 unsuccessful bids for the President’s seat. This time, he believes the temperature is just right. Tea Party have been so busy stirring up extreme fear of the scary black man and Muslim in power, they’ve created a perfect storm of intolerance that allows snakes like Duke to slither into public view again.

His website is curiously quiet on this so we’ll have to wait and see if he was just yanking some chains to see how much bullshit he could stir up, or whether it’s a serious intent. Either way, the last thing our friends to the south need is one more whiney, sulking, self righteous idiot making life more difficult for them. The only difference between Duke and the rest of the Tea Party candidates, is Duke doesn’t hide his white sheet.

Tonight, Camping said the Rapture had actually occurred – it was a spiritual judgement, not a physical one. Nice slippery move on Harold’s part – never apologise, just say it happened, you just weren’t aware of it, then move the date. And here I thought I had a simple case of heart burn on Saturday night. It was God telling me I was going to burn in Hell. Ah yes and Old Harold moved the date on us again. The real end of the world, the absolute best before date, boom the world is gone date, bye bye you heathens, burn in the fiery pits of hell, will occur on October 21. Harold’s motto should be “why let a good apocalypse go to waste”.

In a display of the most cynical, rapacious kind, Camping’s radio station, Family Radio, is on air tonight appealing for more donations from their faithful – yes give till it hurts, cause Harold sure as shit isn’t. I listened for a bit and then felt like putting my foot through my computer. The announcer was blathering on about how expensive it was to bring the word of God to the public and how it cost money. Problem is, Family Radio isn’t bring anything to the public but terror. Like a modern day Orson Wells, terrifying the gullible with tales of the END, Camping is still spinning tales to his audience. The difference of course being, Wells was an entertainer not a con artist.

I think it’s time people saw Camping, and those like him for what they are – terrorists. They prey on the sad, the unhappy, the desperate and the mentally vulnerable. It doesn’t matter whether Camping believes the nonsense he is spreading – he’s arrogantly despicable. Believing only you and a select few will be saved and condemning good people for no other reason than they don’t believe the same as you is pathetic. I feel sorry for those that believe him. They are going to live in terror for months to come, waiting, only to be disappointed again. They’ll wonder what they did wrong to be denied entry to the promised land rather than dealing with the realities of life. In the meantime, they’ll give more and more money to this most unworthy of causes. They have my sympathy; Harold has my contempt.

Hubris, Harold… look the word up.

Charlie Sheen has been offered $3 million to be the face of a dating website.

The former Two and a Half Men star — who infamously set up house with two “goddesses,” Natalie Kenly and Bree Olson, earlier this year — has reportedly been approached by Establishedmen.com to front a forthcoming marketing campaign for their service, which matches rich men with “needy” women.

http://www.toronto.com/article/686291

This little bit of information typifies everything that is wrong with the Hollywood mystique. It celebrates a drug addled idiot who revels in misogynistic blatherings. Before anyone writes a defense of Sheen, saying he loves women – they are “goddesses” to him – get your head out of your ass. Women are there to prop up his bloated ego. They are tools to be used, abused and discarded when they don’t suite the role any longer. He has nothing but contempt for women. How about respect? Or is that not part of the Sheen vocabulary?

Any company that wants him as their spokesperson has told me everything I need to know about them. Women are purely decorative chattel. Basic arm candy to pad an ego. And yes, I’m both dismissive of women who go for this and deeply torn over them. They flush decades of work for equality down the toilet by falling for the Hollywood myth that you don’t need anything but youth and good looks to be a success.

But there is a much darker side to this. The site preys on the vulnerable and the desperate – it will match “needy” women with “sugar daddies”. I grew up with girls who thought if they aged, their lives were over. One friend was obsessed with non-existent wrinkles and kept proclaiming “we’re so old” before we were 25. Ripe for the picking – and an abusive relationship. This is a dating site for losers who want compliant women. They can hold their money and power over the heads of any woman that gets involved with them to force acquiescence – Don’t do what I want? Fine, I’ll find another “sugar baby”. Using terms like sugar baby (that is what the site calls women) infantilizes women – “don’t you worry your pretty little head over anything, let the man take care of everything”. This is a dangerous trap to fall into. Having Charlie Sheen as the spokesperson for establishedmen.com should be warning enough. The idea oozes contempt and cynicism. Caveat Emptor is the word of the day.

Okay.. so I wasn’t speechless.

Unless you are in New Zealand where it’s already the 21. Well, well, New Zealand is still with us! So that means either Kiwis are all athiests and going to Hell or GASP! the Rapture is another hoax. This highlights a glaring flaw (among many) that Harold Camping (the un-utterable fool that started this current end-of-the-world stupidity) seems to have overlooked. May 21 starts at different times through the world. His time table is very US centric. Does this mean God is an American?

Oh wait, I’m wrong. According to the Campites, the Rapture starts at 6 pm sharp. But they don’t say which time zone. So does this mean we’ll see a gradual drifting away of people? You know, to ensure there isn’t a huge line up of Evangelicals at the holy gates. Hate to have them get rowdy in the line up.

Another question that is plaguing me, will they go up fully dressed or will they leave their clothes behind? Will we see piles of pants and shirts scattered throughout the city. Does this mean, and my retinas are already burning out with the thought, the long line ups into heaven will be filled with … oh good lord … naked Christians. Will fig leaves be handed out in the line up?

I’ll lay a bet that the Family Radio network employees (the company that is vigorously promoting the May 21 farce) collect their pay cheques today and buy groceries for the week. I’ll also bet not a one of them canceled vacation plans either. I wonder if they think it’s amusing to terrify the sad and the gullible. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if a class action lawsuit could be launched to drive the station into the ground. Alas, you can’t sue because people were naive enough to listen to the station. Using phrases like “We have learned that the precise date of the cross was April 1, 33 A.D.” is nothing more than numerology hocus pocus. There is no proof – infallible or other wise. I think Camping pulled the numbers from his ass and is sitting there laughing at his followers. By the way Family Radio should also be sued for mangling reason and the English language. “Another Infallible Proof” doesn’t even approach coherence.

Ah, but you and I know Camping and his band of jackasses will be forgiven for getting the date wrong. All the loyal followers will come up with some excuse as to why the Rapture didn’t happen, and they’ll wait breathlessly for the next drivel from Camping. He predicted the Rapture sometime in the 90s and golly gee, he was wrong. His followers still blindly follow him.

On the positive side, May 21 has created an endless stream of comedy that has kept many of us in stitches all week. Plus after tomorrow, hopefully I can read some of my usual sites without seeing the endless “Will the world end on the 21″ questions.

Zombie Apocalypse is coming – the CDC says so!
The Center for Disease Control ran an article on their blog this week that caused a wee bit of a stir. Well, okay, a big stir. Someone at the CDC has a healthy sense of humour and knows how to get the attention of a young audience. Social Media: Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse talks about preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse and proved so popular the website crashed because of the number of visitors. The point of the story was to hammer home the importance of emergency preparedness but with wicked humour.

Alas, a few people have taken the zombie threat as real – after all the CDC says they exist, so they must. Humour and satire are lost on the terminally gullible. With all this Rapture talk and end of the earth nonsense floating around, it’s a small wonder people haven’t been building zombie shelters for real.

By the way, according to mythology surrounding May 21, when the Rapture occurs, the world will be wracked with a massive earth-wide quake. Since it’s already the 21 on the other side of the world, and no quake has occurred, so I think you can safely assume, neither the second coming nor zombies will occur. Besides, it’s a long weekend here in Canada and nothing will get in the way of the first offical BBQ weekend holiday – not even Zombie Jesus.

Well, someone just sent me a link for “After the Rapture Pet Care” services. Yup, after you get called to heaven, these fine folks will take care of your pets for you. This could be someone’s idea of a joke, but given the hysteria about the rapture, I doubt it. Even if it was, there are plenty of folks who will want the service.

This brings a number of thoughts to mind:

1. The arrogance of these people is interesting. They all assume they are going to be “chosen”. Just because their warped little preacher told them, doesn’t make it so. Maybe their warped little preacher is just a warped little preacher with no conscience at all.

2. Maybe God will call all the Zorastrians instead. Or better yet Atheists – we know how to have fun! Why the hell would he want to surround himself with Fundamentalist idiots. And yes I see the irony of saying Atheists will go to heaven. It makes as much sense as saying the Fundamentalists will go.

3. Why would pets be left behind? Another instance of arrogance to assume only humans go to heaven. Love to see the “proof” behind this rational.

4. This should be a lesson for everyone. Using the Bible to prove theories about the world ending, should emphasis the need to teach science NOT creationism and faith (or any variation there off) in schools. Creationism is not intelligent design – bullshit cloaked in religion is still bullshit.

and finally …

5. Isn’t there some law we can institute to stop these moonbats from taking out billboards etc to promote this nonsense?